It is important to note that having high self-esteem is not about being arrogant or bragging about what you have and your achievements. But it is taking stock of what kind of person you are in life. Self-esteem also does not shield you from low self-confidence, uneasiness and fear. It is simply makes it easier to stand and handle problems
The following is a check list of characteristics that you should portray or have to determine if you have a high self-esteem.
– Sense of control
High self-esteem gives a you a sense of control over life. It helps you to know that your body, your mind, feelings do not belong to others and that you do not live up to other peoples wishes or expectations. Self-esteem therefore allows you to set reasonable expectations for yourself and to pursue your goals.
– Happy and confident
People with high self-esteem are usually found to be happy and confident. They may be pleased with their abilities, skills and achievements. They are also cordial, friendly and show respect for other people’s views. Such people are also highly encouraged and have the right attitude to succeed in their activities. For example, a person with self-esteem may say ‘I can do, I can have and I can make my life what I desire it to be’
– Accepting responsibility
People with high self-esteem are also able to accept responsibility for their actions and everything that happens in their lives. If things are not going on well for them, they ask; what am I doing to change this situation. They do not resort to shifting the blame or using others as scapegoats for their failures or problems.
For example a student with a low self-esteem receives low marks in a class test. He might think he is stupid, while another student with a high self-esteem who receives the same mark might say ‘I need to study harder for the next text”
– Personal success
Self-esteem is an important feature of every individual, because it influences and sometimes even determines success in what you do. People with high self -esteem can do better in school and find easier to make friends. It also helps a person to feel satisfied and have a positive or successful relationship with other people, family, peers etc.
– Doing the right thing
A person with high self- esteem may do the right thing even if exposed to the wrong set of people. Such a person has high regard for himself and may not follow what other people are doing, because he knows what is right from wrong.
– Protection against social evils
High self-esteem protects people, particularly young from exposure to a wide range of social evils. These include abuse of drugs, crimes, and unsafe sexual practices that could result in unsafe pregnancies.
– Reacting positively to situations
A child’s self-esteem affects how he sees and reacts to situations. For example, a child with a healthy self -concept asks a friend to play and the friend says no. He might think okay, if Kofi doesn’t want to play and say now I will ask someone else. On the other hand, a child with an unhealthy self-esteem might interpret the situation differently and say, Kofi hates me.
If these above characteristics are absent, it was due to the following factors in your past
– You have not being encouraged by yourself and others to stand up and fight again when you mistakenly did something wrong or failed.
– You do not praise yourself or are not praised by others for your effort
– You were not privileged enough to receive attention, hugs, commendation and gifts from parents, families friends and work colleagues upon a success
– You have never experienced success in sports, academics, relationship and other social activities
– No one around you and your situations do not dare to encourage you to try new things
– People around you do not speak to you respectively but are always abusive
– You don’t trust people around you, not your family, friends, work colleagues and leaders
– You are not offered the appropriate level of support and listening ear from home, school, community or workplace.
– You were not given responsibility appropriate to your age and abilities if any responsibilities are given at all you are abused, exploited and misused.
– You do not receive any appropriate and Constance guidance, monitoring and evaluation at home, school or work place.
- Low self esteem
These results in what is termed low self-esteem, which is the belief that you are of no value and feeling of being unwanted. It is thus an overall doubtful and negative view of oneself. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one likes or accepts them or that they can’t do well in anything.
A person with low self-esteem may blame himself for things or problems that are not his fault. Such a person may undervalue his abilities, as well as expecting things to go wrong. Let’s look at some low self-esteem statements below.
– People don’t like me
– I can’t do anything right
– I am ugly
– People don’t listen to me
– I am always saying stupid things
– I always make the wrong decisions
– My life is a mess and I can’t do anything about it.
Effect of low self-esteem
This causes a wide range of unwanted behaviors; from crime and drug addiction, to educational failure. The following is a description of effects on people found to exhibit low self-esteem:
- Worry and depression
- Week academic and job Performance
- Lack of self-control
- Fear and lack of self confidence
- Problems in relationships
- The struggle for excellence
- Exposure to drug and alcohol abuse.